Friday, September 5, 2008
bored and feeling insane
what a week of quite alot of nothing... i have been going to school and studying for the past 3 days and slacking for 1 plus studying at home today... it truely is getting boring...
and yes... travel fees are damn high for me... ouch... this is so againist the money saving nature of me... everyday i spend at least $2 on travelling to school and back and for lunch... ahhh... i wanna save money damn it... i still have spore to buy after the prelims...
i think it was sunday night that i was kinda killing myself unconsciously in my dream... having your own hands pressing down on your neck is not a very nice feeling... to the point where i was breathless and grasping for air when i finally let go of my neck... but after this "near death" experience, i wonder to myself... what will it be like if i died??? will i be remembered or just forgotten as just a nuisance in the life of many... i guess i'm just thinking too much about myself... haha... wanting to be remembered by others... what a selfish wish...
being with just a few people for these few days may be a good thing or it may be bad... it may be reducing my already low social skills or just reducing my really small pool of friends... talking with rishi one night really open up my eyes to the world... y am i so anti-social??? even i don't have the answers to my own mind's problems... thats not good...i think i may just need to step out into the real world... maybe that will work...
1/9/08
you are asking for too much you know that???
2/09/08
what do you think about me???
4/09/08
spending time apart may be a good thing...
this was taken in the males restroom in TPY... what kinds of defects were they talking about???
died at
22:57
